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Emily Green
Journal: Oct 2004
I missed home. I was on a trip to a foreign place and I missed my home. Though I am scared of flying, the plane ride back didn’t even faze me because I was so excited to be going home, only home wasn’t where I thought it would be. It wasn’t my hometown of Blue Springs, MO. It wasn’t even Decatur. Home was London and the Macy House. I never thought that I would be able to say that I think of London as home. Ever since I visited London three years ago, I’ve been dreaming of going back. This semester abroad was a no-brainer for me. Yet when a place becomes your home, it loses its novelty. My view of London is less romantic than it used to be. I’ve met the sleazy old guys in the clubs and seen the poverty on the streets. London is no longer a magical place for me as it once was. It seems so odd that I can say this after only a month and a half or so of being here. Obviously I’m not a Londoner, as I am reminded
of almost every day. But London is where I sleep, where I study, where I buy my groceries. It has become my home, as I realized on the plane back from Switzerland to London. What will it be like when I return to the States? I can’t even imagine.
There are things I miss of course. My friends, my car, the cheaper prices, even the comfort of being in Blue Springs and Decatur, knowing I belong there, or at least don’t stand out. Yet I’m already anticipating how I’ll miss London once I am home. I’ll miss Waitrose and its reduced prices close to its closing hour. I’ll miss crosswalks where cars actually stop for pedestrians. I’ll surely miss the British businessmen hour when flocks of charming men in pinstripe suits flood out of the Fulham Broadway tube stop. I suppose thinking about such things now is a bit premature. After all, I still have many weeks left in London. Many weeks, about six I think, that seems too short, for there are many things I still have left to do. Go back
to Covent Garden and Camden Town. Visit Parliament, St. Paul’s Cathedral, and other touristy sites. What have I been doing all this time? Is this actually a “life changing experience” as my mother said? Do I just not realize it yet?
I am still having this experience I suppose; there’s still more to be had. I certainly don’t feel such a change yet. I’m afraid this will be just a speed bump in my life’s direction. To my loved ones in Missouri, I’m gone just as I always am during a semester at college. Will the souvenirs remind them of my journey? Do my friends in Decatur miss me? I have no clue.
I don’t know where this train of thought is taking me, probably no place really worth visiting at this time. After all, worrying about the consequences of this trip while I’m still on the trip is a bit silly really. I suppose I’m just a young woman wondering what direction her life is going, but what young woman (or man) really knows? Not many, if any at all, I presume. I think London has opened my mind up to explore many more different avenues of thought about the future than I had before. Perhaps that’s the life changing experience. But I won’t know what my life’s direction is until
I get there I suppose. Besides, what happens in London stays in London, right?
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