Final Kukai 9

Global Haiku Tradition--Final Kukai, Spring 2005
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exhausted in the car seat...tilted... down Ursa major	indescribable feelings i tell her my middle name	chocolate silence the hectic morning passes me by
pissing and moaning sitting at the train stop crushed paper cup	October frost my secrets leave a handprint	whiney music blares an apartment down the street “Rocket To Russia”
unable to cry I sharpen a stack of pencils	quiet moment after a shower's refreshment one bulb burnt out	naked she winces at her reflection Fat Tuesday
hot humid day one more rep failure	empty gym sun light on a bench one more set to go	missing life’s screwball, in my utopia eating my ham on white
careful consideration a squirrel leaps to a new tree	raining white flower petals one catches my tearing eye cold spring morning	fizzing with anticipation Alka-seltzer doesn’t help big black stage
empty yonder cold... warming my heart	round and round no more training wheels fifteen stiches	we laugh we cry we live we die... soulmates
she looks at me without me knowing feigning sleep	soft hum of the generator silence covers me like velvet	autumn suicide the widow wonders who to go to
soft, worn leather rocks me softly grandpa’s favorite chair	coming of new life the worried father struggles to find the perfect name	wondering around the endless boundaries of my imagination
a baby's cry two men in the alley focus on a car	lunar eclipse toes in the ocean	i tiptoe through the gallery all assemblages turn to watch me

sitting on the sidewalk
my red Popsicle
drips in the heat

gingersnap recipe
just the way grandma made ‘em
sunlight drenches the empty kitchen

this one doesn’t work
same with this one
computer lab

the stench of beer and cigarettes all the windows open I sit with numb toes	red-brick fireplace great-grandpa’s thumbprint still in cement	colorful clothing clean and pressed a prisoner
untouched journals gather the dust of silent thoughts	bubble mower side by side we cut the grass	thinking of you realizing the cat pissed on my sweatshirt
laying in the grass we point out animals in the sky	the wind pulls in the rain, pulls out my hair	single hair on the pillow too short to be my own
falling from irish lips french words cell phone dies	August sunshine hiding our tears behind dark lenses	four bare backs water dripping from wet hair

new doll
my older cousin
still won’t play with me

worn name
trying to make it out
under the dust

heart beats through my chest
as he draws
nearer to me

the midst of nothing
there she sits
hope

tangled hair
my mother
tries to fix the doll

a blanket
under a tree
falling crabapples

soon after marriage
the couple
connected only by rings

moving box
I carelessly place
the doll in the bottom

meeting the parents
you forget
to introduce me

5am--I leave my own house I lack the energy to tell them party's over	schoolbus putting on makeup away from mother's eyes	fighting for peace the leaf trembles on its branch
blowing out the candles she wishes . . . for one more year	creaking barn door grandpa’s hat still hanging from the rafters	wind rips through an open field scattering sunflowers
light morning dew a raccoon in the passenger seat	warm evening breeze a sparrow competes with the wind chimes	tracing the path of an old scar the tree's bark
hunched in the corner white robe clings to skin and bones	sitting on a rotten log while my backpack rests comfortably	rain drips down the black umbrella a shadow falls across his face

air conditioning broken
kitchen chair
sticks to my thighs

alone in the house
--goose bumps
I turn off the TV

looking for
lightning
I hold my breath